1
Visiting the Northern Territory whilst in Oz? Mon Jan 13, 2014 6:54 am
blaKey
Life time member
Things you really need to know...
Northern Territory Etiquette
GENERAL RULES 1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Try to identify people in your yard before shooting them.
3. It's tacky to take an esky to church, even in NT.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the Will, it's rude to take the trailer to the Funeral Home.
DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the carton, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand and at the base of the bottle, not the neck.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat on the table, no matter how good its manners appear.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using your own ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Use of toiletries can only delay bathing at the most, three days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, as it detracts from the woman's jewellery and alters the taste of finger foods.
DATING (applies to outside the family)
1. Always offer to bait your partner’s hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested, for example: "I've wanted to go out with you since I read that stuff on the toilet door of the Queens last year."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 2:00AM while others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be wheeled out to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from talking to the actors on the screen. Exhaustive tests have proven they can't hear you.
WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than thirty-five seconds will get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper may create a somewhat tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to shoes and socks, just for this occasion.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the roo is in sight.
2. When approaching a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest wheels doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with an empty petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to also bring back beer.
Tongue-in-cheek (cheap shot) at our Northern Territory neighbours!
__________________________________________________
Neil
K100RS 1986 RED!
Dress for the ride and the potential slide.
